Unspoken Words

Unspoken Words

First day of my 7^th grade, I could never forget that.

 Coming after a month and half vacations, meeting old friend and some new ones who have joined that year; everything seemed so special. The school bell rang and we all went to the ground for the assembly. We all knew that it would be a long assembly that day since our Principal would be giving a big speech about our school history ( as if we don’t know that), new rule that should be followed and our school’s past academic and overall records. Hearing those same words year after year made every student to hate the first day’s assembly. 

             

             Finally the national anthem was sung and every class students were dispersing to their respective classes in order.  I peeped into our class girl’s line just to see whether there were any new comers to our class. To my surprise there were few colour dresses (new comers were given one week time to get their school uniform ready) in that line, totally there were 5. I went to class without any further thinking.

             

            As I was entering into the class, I was blown away. She sat in the first row; Her eye brows looked like they have been hand-sketched, her complexion looked atleast three shades fairer than any other girl in my class and her hair was tangled into a beautiful mess with keratin and hair wax, her slender fingers supported by thin hands, her pink and blue floral dress with a low neck line that ends just below her knee made me go numb and motionless without moving an inch. I felt like how a blind man feels when he first opens his eyes to a new colourful world. When I noticed that the whole class was looking me, I got my senses back and moved to the last bench where I used to sit. 

              

           I saw her the whole day; I loved the every little thing that she used to do; writing her notes, adjusting her fallen hair, pushing her bangles back in her hand when they fell and make noise. I used to go around the class and pretend as if I was talking with my friends just to see her. Everytime she smiled I smiled unknowingly. That was the time when I got to learn a lot of new English words like Crush, Love, Like, Adore, Feeling, and Irresistible etc.

               

          Days passed by and by each passing day I used to like her more than the previous day. I never used to take my eyes off her and everytime she used to turn to talk with her friends, I felt as if she turned to look at me. My feelings increased exponentially and finally I decided that she was the one for me. I prepared several ways to start a conversation but whenever I see her I would be frozen; standing still without uttering a word. At times we both used to pass each other almost with a hairline gap between us but I could never muster courage to look at her eyes and start a conversation. Sometimes she would stand beside me and speak to someone and I would simply walk away as if I haven’t acknowledge her presence despite knowing how much I wanted her( I guess every person must have that feeling, a feeling mixed with excitement, fear and love). Those were some of the moments in my life when I wanted to kick myself for doing nothing.

             

          Anything that might be, I did not want her to leave her. At night, I used to lie on my bed and used to dream about her, many times I dreamt like I proposed her the next day but in reality I would be sitting alone deserted. Though I wanted to propose her and make her mine I never had that courage nor did I believe that she would accept my proposal and be mine forever. I was helpless.     

               

          Days have passed and years have gone, but still I sit infront of my computer and write this without having the courage to propose her.

          First crush. Sometimes, something’s are so precious only when they are unspoken!

                                                                              

                                                                    *******

               

            My first crush happened in 7^th standard and I am sure that you must have a first unsaid crush like mine. We, as a person have grown and crossed lots of hurdles, faced lot of happiness and sadness but memories like these will always stay close to heart no matter whether they maybe successful or being ended up in a comical manner. Sometimes in life, looking back at our own life can make us happier than anything else. Whenever life gets hard just remember to turn your life few pages back and I am sure walking back in your memory lane never disappoints you.

              

          P.S: Till now I never said about my crush to my crush and now she is the one whom I hate the most.