Leaving You

 People say couples are made in heaven; there is someone waiting for each one of us somewhere on this earth; a perfect match for every single person is there in some part of the world. A perfect match they say, in every term- height, weight, looks, family, thoughts, background, feelings and almost everything else. But it that necessary to maintain a checklist of each and every criterion mentioned above and then fall in love with someone?

 Aren't we cheating our own self, aren't we being so mean. Does our happiness alone is important; we want our loved ones to be beside with us always just for the only reason that when they are beside you, you feel happy. Maybe every human is the same; hence we need not care about it much. When someone’s says they are in love with you, you just think this; only since they are happy with you they need you. When their happiness ceases out even their love diminishes.

People say that I am no match to her and she is no match to me but she is always been the only one for me. You are the one that I long for. I have shared my life with you. You are the witness to my anger, love, sorrows, tears and also some most secret parts of my life. I threw my anger on you, I showed my love, I poured my feelings out, I shared my weakness, insecurities; I shared everything unconditionally; I shared it selflessly, I wanted to be close with you and I was, but you never were.

Every night when I go to my bed, I keep staring at the ceiling, I see a lot of things in that darkness, and I fear a lot. I think a lot about myself; I think about my future with you, I think about my childhood friends, how my contact got broken with them; maybe it’s the same with the set of friends I have now. After few years there may be a days we cross each other without even exchanging a smile, like how I do now for most of my past friends.

I find no sleep and I find no peace within myself. I am not able to eat; food is getting chocked in my throat. Time has changed everything and everyone. Life has taught me many things and it keeps on teaching me though I don’t want to learn anymore. I am bleeding inside but I know wounds heal and make you a stronger person. Maybe next time I would stand back when life hits me hard. 

 Leaving someone might be the hardest thing that you would have done in your life but sometimes you gotta swim against the tide.