I would, you will too
Looking at the title and the blog
picture you might have guessed that I have come up with another crap stuff, if
you had thought it that way, I am sure that you are absolutely right this time.
I think I would never disappoint you if you think that way every time before
you read my blog. And yes, this time it’s another crap that is written by a
useless, jobless person just for the sole reason that he wants to write.
Every time I sit before the computer at night and keep staring at the bright screen, lot of things go
through my mind and every-time I end up cursing myself for being the way I am,
but today it’s lot different. Around 2 am last night, after studying for my
arrear exams, I switched on my computer; I opened the photos folder and began
to slideshow all my college photos.
Every photo brought me so much of
memories, looking at my first year photo made me go back to my initial college
days. Those were lot different to the days in the final year. You enter into
the college with lot of expectation and you still be the kind of person you
were at school. That spark in the eyes would have not gone, cheeks would have
been soft, you hair would have been nicely combed with oil, you would be still
wearing your pants way above your belly button, you would be wearing those pant
with flits, would be wearing all the buttons in your shirt and most importantly
your heart would have not been broken and you would have not know what pain,
rejection, failure, responsibility is all about.
I began to think on lot of
things, how things changed right in-front of my eyes without being able to do
anything, I had made myself fall prey for things which I should have kept away
from, but I don’t regret the way I lived, may be only thing that I could have
done better is with my studies. It’s only during my college days I began to
discover myself, my passion for writing, The first piece of writing was for the
person whom I loved the most and from then on I never left my writing no matter
how many have criticized me.
I look into my first piece of
writing, though it was horrible piece of crap, the emotions and the feelings
that were hidden in that writing were so true and pure. There will be a day I
stop writing, maybe because I can’t write anymore, maybe because that my
interest would have ceased off or maybe I may die. One day I will die and you
too will; and I don’t know how it would be. It may be an accident, a peaceful
one in sleep, a murder or even by a natural disaster. When I lay in my death
bed, I don’t know how I look, I don’t know whether I would be satisfied with
the way I lived my life, I don’t know whether I would be smiling, I don’t know
anything.
Some may cry and some may be
happy and some may even don’t know that I am gone. My family, friends would be
around me. They would be talking about me, lot of lies and good things about
me. The person who broke my heart might be standing beside me and thinking of
the future on how it could have been if she had accepted. She might be happy
that I was not part of her life but there would be at-least one vein in her body
saying you are wrong. My parents might be thinking on how stupid I was during
my teens and how I spoiled my life.
I have come across different
people in my life, I have helped few; many have helped me. I stabbed few and
many have stabbed me. There are many good friends and foes too, but when I am
gone, would I still have a scar in my heart?
The sole reason for your life is
to make someone smile. You won’t remember the number of times you smiled, but
you will remember only when you are the reason for someone’s smile. I am sure
that I would have made someone somewhere smile and touched their lives.
I have done many wrong things; I
have been the reason for many griefs’s and have broken lot of hearts but still
I strive to make someone in some part of the world happy and bring a smile onto
their face. Always be a reason for someone’s smile, strive to be a rainbow in
someone’s sky.
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